BAW

Baw

“And though your dreams may toss and turn you now.  They will vanish away like your daddy’s best jeans, denim blue, fading up to the sky.  And though you want them to last forever you know we never will, you know we never will.  And the patches make the goodbye harder still.”

Cat Stevens

Two days ago marked the fifth anniversary of my father’s passing.  As with most dates which are marked in our consciousness, I found myself reflecting on my father and the effect he had (and continues to have) on my life.  My father’s uniqueness was evidenced by the name my brothers and I called him by: Baw.  Apparently, at two years of age I was unable to pronounce Pa, and so he was forever known as Baw.  My friends, girlfriends, my wife and even my son all took to calling him Baw.  The name fit precisely because it was one of a kind, just like my father.  What made him singular was his ability to teach me and my brothers without effort or lecture.  He led by example and challenged us with well placed questions.  Oftentimes, these lessons were lost on me.  Although I grew to appreciate them once I became a father.  Perhaps Baw did not expect me to grasp the intricacies immediately.  Maybe they were meant to be comprehended at a point in the future. 

Baw was a New York City cop.  This was back in a time when cops wore big blue overcoats adorned with a double breasted set of brass buttons.  Baw was a big man, measuring over six feet with broad shoulders.  The uniform accentuated his large frame.  He was formidable but I always knew him to be compassionate.  His stories from the street were filled with promise, sadness, despair and joy; sometimes all these elements were included in the same story.  Regardless of the outcome, Baw’s stories always offered a beam of hope.  I learned at an early age that the human condition is made of resiliency and determination. His stories taught me that living outside the law was not a crime.  Dishonesty was the crime.  “This above all, to thine own self be true.”  My father did not suffer fraudulent personalities. His world was not reduced to right or wrong, black or white; his perception was much too intricate.  He witnessed life’s complexities everyday as he walked his beat.  These intimate peeks into the lives of strangers provided him with an insight into the fragility inherent in our hopes and dreams.

Once retired, my father returned to the neighborhood where he once walked his beat as a young cop.  My parents moved back to the city and took residence in the East Village.  Walking the same streets that he had once patrolled, he would point out locations and buildings where he saved a life or delivered a baby or provided counsel.  In his pocket he carried a roll of dollar bills which he would give to homeless men and women.  Along with the money, Baw was sure to shake a hand and offer a kind word of encouragement.  “These people are human beings, Joseph.  And human beings need human contact.”  As a middle aged man I looked at my aging father with the same pride I felt as that ten year old boy, watching his father walk down the street decked out in his big blue double breasted police uniform.  He continued to lead by example.  He continued to make a difference.

Five years after his death, he continues to make a difference. 

The Count of Monte Cristo

The Count of Monte Cristo   

During this long, frozen winter I read The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas.  It was an incredible story of jealousy, betrayal and revenge.  In the story, young Edmond Dantes is destined for greatness before being betrayed and sent to Chateau D’If where he spends the next fourteen years in a dank cell before escaping with a treasure map.  He then finds the treasure and transforms himself into The Count of Monte Cristo.  Armed with a fortune and a new identity he then sets out to exact vengeance on the men who robbed him of his life and his love.  He does not kill his conspirators.  Oh, no, no, no…he does something far worse.  He takes from them what they hold most dear: their money and position in society.  The Count’s plan is brilliant as he twists their greed and ego into his weaponry of revenge.  The Count was successful in exacting revenge because his targets were predictable.  Their predictability made them vulnerable.

Edmond Dantes was betrayed because he possessed the gift of contentment.  Dantes was admired and loved by his friends, his fiancé and his father.  He was doomed precisely because he was satisfied with his life.  In a climactic moment, his childhood friend Fernand, who was responsible for Dantes’ imprisonment, says by way of explanation for his betrayal, “I am a nobleman and you are the son of a clerk, I shouldn’t want to be you.”  Pretty powerful stuff, wouldn’t you say?  This was one of my more enjoyable reads.  For several weeks I was transported to another time and place.  This story was so compelling that I have decided to take a bike tour to and through all the locations detailed in the book.  This journey will be a working vacation; I have scheduled several seminars to coincide with the tour.  Yes, there is a need for Customer Service training in Italy and France.  I will be working with several organizations including one of the largest international transportation companies in the world.  As excited as I am to bring my Customer Service vision to the global stage, I am even more thrilled to be re-tracing the path of Alexandre Dumas’ storyline.  I will be in Italy for over three weeks with a significant time spent riding along the Tuscan coastline which abuts the Tyrrhenian Sea.  From there I travel on to Rome, Paris and Marseilles.

While The Count of Monte Cristo has influenced me enough to re-visit several European locations, I was truly inspired by the morality tale within the story.  Dumas warned that if you allow your insecurities to rule you, jealousy, cowardice and duplicity will control your existence.  I have begun using Dumas’ insight as a lesson in business philosophy, during my recent guest-speaking engagements.  I challenge my audiences to assess their individual business practices and decide whether or not they are utilizing positive approaches to their professional vision.  Often, when faced with competition and shrinking market share, business owners retreat to a scarcity mentality and wind up making questionable decisions.  This results in predictability which leads to vulnerability.  Your fear can be your undoing.  It is always important to take the moral highroad, otherwise you leave yourself exposed to ruin.  Running a business should be an extension of your core-values. How solid are your core values?  How do you see your business landscape?  Do you embrace abundance or scarcity?  As William Blake famously wrote, “As a man is, so he sees.”

Next week I will share with you two examples of questionable business practices borne of fear and insecurity.  These stories are embarrassingly funny.  It is often said that fact is stranger than fiction.  Stay tuned……

While I will be spending quite a bit of time in Europe I will try to keep my blog up to date.  I expect that there will be many experiences to share.   

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FENDER BENDER

FENDER BENDER

I often conclude my Customer Service Seminars with a personal story.  It wasn’t until I was preparing for a recent seminar that I remembered an event that had occurred almost twenty-five years ago.  As I prepared my closing remarks it struck me how important it is to pay attention to everyday events.  The experience you are about to read became a defining moment in my maturity not only as a businessman, but also as a father, brother and friend.  As you read this story, reflect on events that have occurred in your life.  How many lessons have you walked away with?  How many more lessons are there to learn?

Over twenty years ago I witnessed an event that changed the way I interacted with my clients when faced with a complaint. This event had nothing to do with business, but it had everything to do with human interaction.  On this day, I was driving on a particularly busy stretch of the Long Island Expressway leading into Manhattan.  Traffic was dense, but moving at a steady clip when suddenly traffic momentum halted.  A young woman who was driving in the lane next to me reacted too late and hit the car ahead.  What made this all the more poignant was the fact that car she hit was a beautifully restored 1964 Mustang.  What happened next was a lesson in how to alter someone’s emotional state.  The young woman who was responsible for the accident sat in her car wide-eyed and anxious.  She, along with all the nearby drivers expected the driver of the Mustang to leap out of his car in an enraged state.  To everyone’s amazement, the driver opened the door, got out and looked directly at the woman sitting behind the wheel and asked, with genuine sincerity, “Are you alright?”  The frightened young woman was stunned and so was I.  The driver of the Mustang smiled and calmly walked over the young woman and again asked her if she was sure that she was alright.  The young woman burst into tears and in between sobs said that she was sorry.  The driver of the Mustang assured her that there was nothing to worry about as long as she was not hurt.  He pointed to a spot on the side of the road where they could safely exchange information and then walked back to his car.  Other than taking a brief glance on the way back to his car, the driver of the Mustang had not even bothered to assess the damage done to his pristine, classic car.  When I looked around at the other drivers who also witnessed the accident, I noticed that they were as astonished as I was.  That whole moment was uplifting because it went against what everybody was expecting.  I believe the young woman began crying precisely because she was surprised by the reaction she received. I watched as she put her car in gear and followed the bruised Mustang over to the shoulder.  As she was wiping away the tears, her face took on a look of calm and relief. 

That event remained with me for several days and had occurred during a time in my  

professional life when I was closely observing successful business people and looking for admirable traits which I could incorporate into my own professional personality.  That one minute exchange on the Long Island Expressway became a singular event in my professional maturity.  I was impressed by how one man’s sincere concern altered the emotional state of everyone within earshot.  The stranger in the Mustang possessed traits which I was certain would improve and enhance most negative events.  I wanted to be able to remain calm and empathetic during times of stress mainly because I knew it would lead to more positive outcomes.  I began using this approach whenever a client called with a complaint.  I would begin by asking if our service failure caused any damage to their business and if so, what could I do to make it right.  Instead of trying to explain how and why we failed, I focused instead on the impact our error caused on their business.  I did not become defensive, nor did I become offensive.  Instead I became sincere and empathetic which is unique when dealing with a problem. The effect was immediately positive.  By remaining calm and putting the focus on the client instead of the problem, I strengthened my business relationships and grew my business.  I succeeded by being different.  An otherwise insignificant fender-bender assisted me in strengthening my own culture of service.  In spite of being a young and inexperienced businessman, I was cognizant that most dissatisfied customers were accustomed to having to fight for satisfaction.  By taking a complaint and focusing on the effect it had on the customer, I provided myself with new opportunities.  By WOWing the customer with my unique approach, I diffused the problem and provided myself with opportunities to exceed my client’s expectations.